Your Therapist Isn't a Blank Slate, and That's a Good Thing
In an age of deep political divides, we’re often encouraged to retreat into our own echo chambers. We curate our social media feeds, our news sources, and sometimes even our friendships to align with our own viewpoints. So, it’s understandable to feel a jolt of anxiety at the thought that the person you share your most vulnerable thoughts with—your therapist—might have voted differently than you in the last election.
There’s a persistent myth of the therapist as a "blank slate"—an emotionally neutral, opinion-free vessel for our problems. But let's be direct: this is not only impossible, it’s not even what’s best for you.
Your therapist is a human being. They have a life, a history, and a set of beliefs that have been shaped by their own unique journey. They have a right to be human, and that includes having political opinions. And not only is that okay, it can actually be a powerful, positive force in your therapy.
The Power of Authentic Connection
First and foremost, you don’t benefit from a robot. You benefit from a real, authentic human connection. True healing happens when you feel genuinely seen, heard, and respected by another person. A therapist who is forced to hide or suppress their own humanity can’t be fully present with you. Their authenticity is a prerequisite for a strong therapeutic alliance, which research consistently shows is the single most important factor in successful therapy outcomes.
When a therapist is comfortable in their own skin, with their own beliefs, they create a space that is more grounded, more real, and ultimately, safer for you to be your full self.
How Differences Can Deepen the Work
The goal of therapy isn't to find a best friend who agrees with you on everything. The goal is to grow. And growth rarely happens in an echo chamber. When you and your therapist can hold different views in a shared space of mutual respect, something incredible happens.
It Models Healthy Disagreement: In a world that screams at us to unfriend and block those who disagree, therapy can be a radical space that teaches you how to stay in a relationship even when you don't see eye-to-eye. Witnessing how your therapist can respect your reality without sharing it builds your own capacity for empathy and navigating conflict in your own life.
It Strengthens Your Own Voice: Having to articulate your feelings and worldview to someone who may not share it can clarify and strengthen your own convictions. It can challenge you to move beyond black-and-white thinking and develop a more nuanced, resilient perspective. When you feel safe enough to say, "This is how the state of the world is affecting me," and it’s met with curiosity rather than agreement or dismissal, you learn that your voice matters, regardless of the audience.
It Reinforces the Focus is on YOU: A skilled therapist knows that the session is not about their political beliefs; it's about your emotional world. Their job isn’t to debate or convert you. It’s to understand how you experience the world and how political and social issues impact your mental health. When a therapist can set aside their own views to center your experience, it’s the ultimate act of professional respect and a powerful reminder that this space is truly and completely yours.
Of course, there are ethical lines. A therapist should never impose their beliefs on you or shame you for yours. The relationship must always feel safe and non-judgmental.
But we should not fear difference. Let’s move beyond the idea that our therapists must be perfect mirrors of ourselves. Instead, let's embrace their humanity. The person sitting across from you is not a blank slate, but a fellow human being, trained to offer you a unique relationship built on compassion, respect, and a shared goal of your well-being. In that space, differences are not a threat—they are an invitation to a deeper, more transformative connection.
—XOXO Dr. A