Permission Granted: Finding Joy in Stillness (and What Your FOMO Might Really Be Saying)
Scroll, scroll, tap. Another perfectly filtered sunset from a beach you're not on. A video montage of an event you didn't attend. A triumphant post about a project completed while you feel stuck in neutral. That familiar little pang hits – maybe a twinge of jealousy, maybe a surge of anxiety – fcking FOMO!
In our hyper-connected, productivity-obsessed world, there's immense pressure to always be doing. Our calendars are crammed, our minds are buzzing, and even our downtime is often filled with curated consumption or planning the next thing. Stillness feels…uncomfortable. Unproductive. Almost wasteful.
But what if the greatest experience we're missing out on isn't happening somewhere else? What if it's happening right here, right now, and we're too busy chasing the next thing to notice?
The Underrated Power of Just Being
Being fully present means inhabiting the moment you're actually in. It's tasting your coffee instead of just gulping it down while mentally running through your to-do list. It's feeling the warmth of the sun on your skin during a short walk, without needing headphones to distract you.
This isn't about laziness. It's about richness. When we're present:
Experiences deepen: Simple moments become more vibrant and memorable.
Anxiety lessens: Worry often lives in the future; grounding yourself in the now can be calming.
Connection strengthens: We engage more authentically with others and with ourselves.
Clarity emerges: Sometimes, the best ideas or solutions arise from moments of quiet reflection, not frantic activity.
Resisting the urge to constantly be "on" or engaged in an activity is an act of rebellion in today's culture.
When FOMO Knocks, tell it to Fck OFF!
That familiar FOMO ache? While it often feels like it's about missing a specific external event, sometimes it's a signal pointing inward.
Is this FOMO telling me my own life isn't aligned with what I truly want?
Maybe the fear isn't about missing that party, but about a lack of fulfilling social connection in your own life. Maybe envying travel photos isn't just about that specific destination, but highlights a deeper desire for adventure and freedom that feels absent for you right now. Maybe seeing career highlights stings because you gave up on your damn dream.
FOMO, in this light, isn't just an annoying byproduct of social media. It can be valuable data. It might be signaling dissatisfaction, unmet needs, or a misalignment between your daily reality and your deeper values or aspirations. It's an invitation not necessarily to chase what others have, but to pause and ask: "What is missing for me? What kind of life do I genuinely want to build?"
Choosing Presence Over Panic
Combating the pressure to always "do" and deciphering the message behind FOMO starts with small acts of presence:
Schedule Stillness: Intentionally carve out 5-10 minutes a day to simply be. No phone, no tasks. Just sit, breathe, look out the window.
Tune Into Senses: During routine tasks (washing dishes, brushing teeth), focus entirely on the physical sensations involved.
Question the Urge: When you feel compelled to fill a quiet moment with activity or scrolling, pause. Ask why. What are you avoiding or seeking?
Reflect on FOMO: When it arises, sit with the feeling. What is it really about? What need or desire within you is it touching?
Curate Your Life, Not Just Your Feed: Gently shift focus toward activities and connections that bring yougenuine joy and fulfillment, regardless of how "Instagrammable" they are.
It's okay to opt-out. It's okay to be still. HEY, I have done it too. Sometimes still do. But for a minute or 2, I’ll be here, waiving both middle fingers and being OKAY WITH JOMO…JOY OF MISSING OUT!
XOXO-Dr. A